07.04.03
It’s four thirty in the morning, and I can’t fucking sleep.
I got home a little after midnight, talked online for another hour, then picked up my Stephen King book (Everything’s Eventual) and read 150 pages or so. Bad idea. Also a bad idea was the two and a half cups of Fourth Street Diner coffee I’d had before I went to Sam’s. But I get ahead of myself. This is my first entry on my new laptop, which is exciting by itself. And at this point, all hopes of sleep have been thwarted; I came into the new room, where my computer is, and set off the alarm, thus waking up my parents and getting the adrenaline flowing. Great.
Tonight – today, in fact – was quite fun. I’ve only been up for fourteen hours, which was nice. Carter and I went shopping at Chesterfield today, because for some odd reason I was feeling like being feminine and wanted to go clothes shopping. I got several pairs of nifty pants and some cool shirts, one of which mom would veto on principle (the principle being that the buttons stop somewhere just below my sternum), but the rest of it is respectable, which means she’ll pay for it. Rock. On the way back from my shopping excursion, I stopped at Sam’s to watch the Simpsons episode with REM in it – it made my day. Then, to top it all off, I came home for dinner and got a phone call: Trip asking me to Prom. I’ll explain Prom in just a minute. That made my day just awesome. Then I went to a Kings of Swing concert at Dogwood Dell –free – but not before dinner with Sam and Spoon and going 105 on Gaskins. What an adventure. The concert was awesome, the company was great, and then Sam, Patrick, Carter and I hit up fourth street where I had coffee, Patrick spilled his milkshake, and the Passages crew was out in force. I didn’t hang out with them ‘cuz their table was full, but I did chat with ‘em all briefly outside the diner. Nothing worth noting beyond the fact that it happened. Following, Carter and I sang Less Than Jake all the way to Sam’s, where we caught the last fifteen minutes of Family Guy and the middle half hour of Eddie Izzard before I came home. Now go reread the first paragraph and you’ll see how the rest of my day went.
I came downstairs about ten minutes ago with full intentions of being discreet, having a snack, tossing myself into a food coma and maybe dashing off some thoughts before I crashed again. I brought my sleeping bag and teddy bear down with me with the thought that maybe a change of scenery was what I needed to get sleepy, thinking I might sack out on the couch or the fold-out in the guest room that Patrick used two nights ago. After writing this epic entry, proofing it, and uploading it, all hopes of sleep have dissolved. Onto the entry!
Yesterday was a cold, rainy Wednesday which got more miserable as the day progressed. It started out okay, around noon, when I woke up. I made breakfast for myself and Patrick (whose presence in my house overnight will be explained shortly), then settled in to play with my website. Much to my distress, I discovered that the six-plus hours of work I’d spent on the Writing second on the 21st was inexplicably gone. I was pissed off, distraught, and loads of other things that I tried to ignore by having Patrick, Spoon, and Carter over for some MST. We watched Deathstalker, one of my favorites, and the first half of Hercules vs. the Moon Men before I had to go to my meet. Now, I hasten to add that the only reason Spoon could grace us with his presence was that it was pouring, so his job on the construction site wasn’t running. Yet the swim meet was. Boo. It was cold, raining, and just generally sucky; I’m glad I have a waterproof bag and coat, or everything I owned would have gotten soaked. Weather aside, I won all of my individuals, beating out people in two of the races – 100 back and 50 breast – which was a pleasant surprise. Our relay got second, but that was okay, because the guy I was racing for the freestyle leg was enormous, wearing an intimidatingly pink Speedo, and looked about 20 (read: entirely too old to be on a swim team.) I came home, watched Family Guy next door, and got to bed around one, still extremely miffed that my June 21 writings – and the So There they included – are gone.
I don’t know why I’m working backwards; it makes no real sense. So I guess I go back to where my previous entry left off, and attempt to re-create what I wrote on the 21st.
The weekend following my overnight at the O house is kind of a blur. I have no idea what I did that weekend…I think it involved sitting on my ass and reading the new Harry Potter book. No, wait, that was this past weekend. Damn. I forget, anyway. The next week, though, I know that I spent my mornings with Cat’s Cap and Patton, and both the camp and my coworker were amazing. The program was ‘Leaders Take Shape,’ and it was 7-9 graders who were interested in doing teambuilding stuff at Peak, basically. The session runs for three weeks, but I was only a part of the first one, since the regular person was coming in after that. Still, it was amazing. Working with Patton, who’s an awesome, easy-to-talk-to, genuine, funny person was enough to make the week worth it, but the kids just made it that much better. The first day, Patton watched one of the kids run into the building, turns to me and asked “how do you raise strong, intelligent young women?” I shrugged, and he said that he’d have a hundred kids if he could be sure they all turned out like these. And they were great: mature, funny, friendly, and it was nice to work with them on a camper-counselor level that was more intimate and closer than the ones we have at Passages. A lot of it had to do with the fact that there were only four of them, but I think a lot of it was also that they were so mature and friendly and excited about their program. I miss working it, and I meant to go back and see them at least once more in the last two weeks, but I just never did…maybe I’ll see if they’re at the gym today. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep in; this insomnia is just fucked up.
Anyway, that was fun, and I spent my evenings doing…stuff. I know I watched a movie – I think it was American Psycho with Carter and Patrick and Reid Monday night…yeah, that was it. And I really wanted to go to the O house after, and my parents were dicks and wouldn’t let me, and I flipped out, and it was bad. But then we played Zelda (THAT’S what I spent my weekend doing!) and watched Family Guy, which is becoming an 11:30 institution around here.
Tuesday night was the monthly Peak bouldering comp, and I went just ‘cuz I love ‘em, and there’s rarely anyone to compete against. That night there were a bunch of Passages people there just for the hell of it, including Trip, who I’d not seen since before Christmas. We’ve both cut drastic amounts of hair off since the last time we saw each other, so there was a bit of a double-take before we hugged hello. I really missed that boy – his laugh, his stories, his gladness about everything…he’s awesome. They’re all awesome. We went to Fourth Street after that, where I downed three cups of coffee and got inspired to write – which I did, in TOD – and didn’t get to bed until really super-late. Which was fine.
Wednesday would have been a swim meet…it was home, and I guess I did okay, even though I can’t remember…oh, wait, that was the night I lost one of my events…I’ll have to double-check my ribbons. I know I sucked at the second and third meets of the season, which were the two weeks between Beach Week and now. So yeah.
Thursday was the most awesome party EVER. I’m pretty sure I slept in because I’d been out late the night before, and then I went to afternoon swimming, where we played what I like to call ‘Violence Ball.’ It’s actually water-polo, but with that group it’s just a bunch of people chasing after a beach ball. And being violent. I miss Collegiate water polo, where at least we were all evenly matched and could sit on each other’s heads without feeling guilty about it. After Violence Ball, I went to Carter’s to hang out; we chilled there for a while, then went to the Tavern for dinner with the boys – Patrick, Sam, Spoon, James, Cordie, and…that’s all. They were fun, but then decided it would be funny to steal my keys and take them apart and pass them all around the table…it was funny, but when I started getting pissed they didn’t know when to stop. I left without saying goodbye, but the drive home with ‘Long December’ playing was all I needed to feel much better. Carter followed me home, and we watched a bit of Eddie Izzard before heading out to Trip’s for Jeff, Rob, and Ned’s goodbye party.
I didn’t realize it was a goodbye party until I got there; they’re in Yosemite right now, probably somewhere on El Capitan, sleeping restlessly on their port-a-ledges. The party, though, was awesome; everyone was there, and it was the first time since last summer that EVERYONE’S been together – Jeff and Trip and Suz and Stratton and Rob and Clayton and Kati and Jordan and Katie and Jon…and Carter was there to take it all in. Everyone else got drunk, and then we danced. Somehow it turned into a salsa party, then a swing party. Trip tried to throw me around, Jeff tried to make me spin, Jon was content to just dance, and I had a blast. I really tried to look like I knew what I was doing, but we all looked clumsy next to Katie S, who was gorgeous and amazing to watch. She and Jeff danced most of the night, down in the poorly ventilated basement, while the rest of us ambled around upstairs. At one point, Jon was playing the piano, and I realized that he bears a striking resemblance to Charles Isaac, which is a similarity I’m not too thrilled about. He hasn’t yet shown himself to be that much of an asshole though, so I’m thinking it’s just a physical resemblance.
Carter and I came home around one, crashed, and I don’t remember what I did until that night when I went climbing. I showed up with the intention of just bouldering, I think, but Chris S. and Kati and Derek and Perto were there, so I hung out for a long time, and then Chris and I led a bunch of stuff. Kati was doing a lockin, so we were allowed to stay way past closing – I think I got home around one, again – and there was a BIG SALE, which had no bearing on anything except that it got funnier the later it got. Kati and I did a bit of the Passages gossip thing, talking about who was whose A Project (a term I’d never heard before) and how hilarious the party the night before had been.
Oh, wait, Friday afternoon. I worked Cat’s Cap in the morning, right, and then got a call sometime around ten from Tobin, asking if I could work that afternoon. I said ‘sure!’ and dutifully scrounged up a camp shirt and headed over to the island in what was, by noon, torrential rain. I never got a call to turn around and go home, so I showed up, even though there WAS no parents’ day due to horrendous weather. I grinned along with everyone else, though, jogged to the abandoned warehouse, played tag, played flour-bomb, ran through the tick field, piggybacked on Rob while the kids threw leftover flourbombs at us, watched Stratton and Chris P. mud wrestle, tackled Jon in the mud with the rest of the staff, blah, blah. After swimming in the quarry, fully clothed (I’d not expected a swim, but couldn’t resist the urge to jump in and cool off), the day was complete. We hung out in the parking lot for a while, saying goodbye to Jeff (who said I was cold and damp – like a basement), Rob, and Ned. Trip and I were planning on going with Jordan down to her lakehouse for the weekend, but that failed for some reason, so I went climbing instead. And had an awesome time, I hasten to add.
Saturday I stayed at home all day, I think. Patrick, Matt, and James left for Baldhead Island, so I contented myself with doing six hours of work on my website, which has since been lost to the winds of the Internet. Awesome. Sunday was…Sunday. I have no idea what I did, but I’m sure it was fun. That might have been the day I rented Analyze That and watched that and Analyze This with Carter. It might not have been. I honestly have no idea.
Or maybe it was the day I went to the lake and discovered a host of boys already there – Taylor and Johnny and the Rands and Alex. The former and latter were the two I was most excited about; they’re both awesome boys that I don’t see nearly enough. We dissected a fish, and that was fun. Then we ate hamburgers and I think I did watch the movies that night. But I really do forget.
Now we’re up to a week and a half ago. I was scheduled to work Monday, Tuesday, and Friday from noon to five at camp, basically so I could work the zipline. I don’t remember what I did Monday night. Tuesday night, though, I went to the O house with Jon and Kira, and we picked up Katie and went to Fourth Street again. I had another awesome time, and had an even better time getting to know Katie better. She sprained her ankle at the New a few weekends ago, and has been mobile – almost hilariously so – around camp and everywhere else. She loves Dispatch, and says what’s on her mind. We were heading out on the interstate to go to the diner, and she said something to the effect of ‘The night is ours. When I’m in this car, going fast, I feel like I can do anything. Then I get out and realize that I can’t walk.’ That last sentence aside, she put my feelings into words exactly, and I won’t often admit that someone else could do that better than I. Fourth Street was fun, too; Suz and Michael and Tobin have apparently discovered the G-Force Karting that my boys seem to love so much, and had just come from that. It was fun hanging out with Tobin in a strictly social setting – I love having a boss that will do that.
Wednesday was swim meet, nothing exciting there. I made some serious headway into Harry Potter, though, which I finished in less than a week. Yeah, I’m that kind of nerd.
Thursday I called Amy on the way back from practice (we lost the meet, so no Violence Ball), and we agreed to go climbing at 8ish. I got there early, hung out for a bit, climbed for a bit, etc, etc. It was great to see Amy again, who I’ve not seen in forever. She was one of my first friends at the gym, (aww) and she’s not really around that much ‘cuz she’s taking summer classes and whatnot. Climbing with her was fun.
Friday was work again, and I somehow got volunteered to drive the grey rental van back to Peak for pickup. Jon agreed to shuttle my car back to the gym, and then we talked about getting dinner afterwards. Cool. It didn’t work out that way, though; he rear-ended someone (well, rolled into them at a stoplight); they flipped out, took down my insurance information, and called my parents to let them know that someone unauthorized had been driving my car. I hope he gets hit by a bus. So I got in trouble for that, because, yeah, I’m not supposed to let people drive my car. The fact that I’ve done it before doesn’t matter, though, ‘cuz this was the first time anything bad had ever happened. So I moped around on Friday, read more about Harry, and that was Friday.
Saturday was Clayton’s birthday party, with potluck before at Jon’s house. My mom took an immediate disliking to Jon after the whole car thing, and not only was I not allowed to drive, but I wasn’t supposed to go to Jon’s beforehand, either. Jordan (girl Jordan) gave me a ride, though, and since she was going to dinner, I went too. That morning, backing up a bit, I’d gotten up just in time to have lunch with Sam and Chris and Katie and Carter, then Sam and Carter came back to watch Adaptation, which I think is an excellent movie which Sam thought was boring. He left, and Kitz, Reid, and Carrie showed up. I felt really bad running out on them when Jordan came to get me, and mom called me selfish and irresponsible and stuff like that, but they didn’t seem too put out, and they’re still speaking to me, so. The party was fun – once again, it was awesome to see everyone together again, and we danced and goofed off and Trip shot me with a water gun and I think the highlight of the night was when Chris Stanberry comes downstairs, turns to me and says, with a look of mixed surprise and blasse-ness, “There are definitely two people making out on my bed.” It just made me giggle. I was DD for the evening, so I’d been responsible for taking Trip’s van, full of sober people, TO the party, and then, several hours later, I had to take the same van, full of drunk and/or high people, BACK to the O house. I’m thrilled I didn’t get pulled. I wasn’t allowed to stay over, so I drove Trip’s van back home, which is ironic, since I didn’t have my own car there ‘cuz I’d let someone else drive it in the first place. Automobile Irony 1.
Sunday I slept in, then met up with Carter to go to Blue Ridge and Belle. Belle was packed, however, and rather than wrangle with parking spaces, we came back here and washed cars. It was fun, even if it was a bit more work than, say, lying out in the sun on the island. Once again, Jordan agreed to grab me and take me to the Science Museum for a movie for which we apparently had free tickets; rock. However, we got there just a little bit late, and they wouldn’t let us in. I didn’t mind, so we headed out to the parking lot to wait. She let me try and drive her Jeep – it’s stick – so that took a bit of time. She was really encouraging and not at all concerned that I stalled out two or three times and probably did a bit of damage…although I think I got the hang of it rather fast. Once again, driving someone else’s car. Automobile Irony 2. We got McDonald’s milkshakes just in time for everyone to come out of the movie, talk for a bit, and then decide to go boating. Boating, whee! Another one of the things I’ve been dying to learn how to do. Chris Q, Jon and I waited around for everyone for a while, but when we finally hooked up with Dave and got everything figured out and got on the water, it was awesome. Chris taught me to do a wet exit, which is when, if you flip, you pop your skirt and swim out. It’s not difficult in theory, but it’s scary as hell the first time you’re doing it. Luckily, I did it three times, so I got pretty used to it. Eventually they switched me with Suzanne and gave her the tippy boat; I found out tonight that Stratton went around telling people I flipped at ‘every molecule of water’ or something equally insulting. I told him to fuck off and added that it didn’t speak very well of my teachers, either. Whatever; I had a blast. Dave, Dave’s girlfriend Katie, Jordan and I took out early to avoid running the lower, where we probably would have gotten worked. Which was fine; we sat out by Riverside Drive with four kayaks waiting for Dave’s parents to come get us. At one point, a cop pulled up, got out, looked at us for a moment, and goes ‘What on God’s green Earth are you four doing here?’ I wanted to say something witty about the fact that we were right next to the river, in bathing suits, wet, with four kayaks and four peoples’ worth of kayak gear, and what did he THINK we were doing? But I was too busy being eaten by mosquitoes to be witty, so I kept my mouth shut.
That night, though, was amazing. I know I’m not the world’s best paddler, but I’m really dying to learn. Sitting on the river with eight good friends, laughing and singing and lit only by the lights from the bridges above us…it was amazing. I’d run that same river trip Friday morning, in a Torrent, which was a bit harder to paddle and left me sore for quite some time. This was completely different – no kids, no time limits, no pressure. Just fun. I want to feel that free for the rest of my life. It was just amazing.
I came home damp, hungry, exhausted, and happy. Patrick came over and we talked for a while – he’d just gotten back from Bald Head and I’d not seen him in a week. He left, and I saw him shortly thereafter; he, Sam and I had lunch at Friendly’s ‘cuz we were bored. At some point during that discussion, we decided to go to Baltimore on Tuesday to see the Yankees play the Orioles. Okay. I don’t know how I convinced my parents to buy it, but they did. I sort of ambled around for the rest of the day, finished Harry Potter, went climbing, sucked royally, went and played soccer, threw up a Power Bar, sucked at soccer, went swimming at Drew’s, had fun there, and finally capped off the night with Family Guy at Sam’s. We bought tickets and agreed to meet around 9:45 the next morning.
I, of course, got up at 9:34, and yet still managed to make it over there relatively fast. Patrick drove; we got into Baltimore a little before one. Had lunch at the ESPN Zone, which was designed to keep people from talking over a meal. They’ve got TVs up all over the place, showing clips from all sorts of sport games. The one thing that held the attention of all three of us were the hockey clips. I miss hockey, and the nights at Sam’s where we cheer and high-five and laugh…I’m already looking forward to coming home to that next year.
After lunch we poked around the city for a bit: walked around Inner Harbor, perused the mall, heard the people at the fudge store singing ‘My Girl’ a cappella, got stuff at the Hard Rock Café store, and saw the Rangers score a goal. We were coming out of the ESPN Zone shop and looked up and stopped dead – there was a clip of a Rangers-Bruins game, and we watched it, open-mouthed, for a solid thirty seconds before they scored. When they did, we cheered, Sam and Patrick did their belly-bump, and we high-fived all around. The other restaurant patrons were staring at us rather fixedly.
We headed pretty much straight to the ballpark after that. Sam was determined to catch a batting practice ball, but first we did laps up and down Camden street, looking at the vendors and drinking lemonade. We were also waiting for Spoon to catch up to us: he’s left Richmond as soon as he’d gotten off work and had gotten caught in DC rush-hour traffic. We wandered around the ballpark for a while, and settled into our seats to watch what turned out to be a slaughter. Still, the first time I walked into the stadium and looked onto the field, a huge grin spread over my face. The only thing running through my mind was “Holy shit, that’s the New York Yankees. They’re right there.” Being in a major-league ballpark, even one where my team got beat 7-3, was awesome. Being there with three good friends and the usual drunken idiots made it just that much more incredible. We’re going to try and see them again – maybe in PA - and make it into a two-day trip. My shift key started acting a little dodgy there for a minute, and I realized the sun’s coming up. Cool.
During the game, however, Patrick suffered a bout of food poisoning and got dizzy; he didn’t think he’d be able to drive home. Luckily, I was brandishing my newfound stick-driving skills, and offered to drive him home. Matt would take Sam and that would be that. Well, turns out I’m not as good as I thought I was, and Patrick had to get us to the highway. Once we were there, though, we did fine…until we missed that 95 exit from the beltway. Suddenly we were headed back to Baltimore, and it was around 1 am. By the time we finally got in around three, Patrick was too tired and too dizzy to drive home, so he stayed in the back room, where I might just go crash if I ever get sleepy. He was probably just dehydrated – none of us drank enough that day – and to the best of my knowledge he’s perfectly fine and no worse for his adventure. And his car’s fine too, thank you very much. Automobile Irony 3, the hat trick.
So that’s been the last month or so of my existence. If I can ever find my June 21 entry, I’ll post that too, since it’s got a clearer idea of what I’d been up to. And now I’m sitting here, at the kitchen table, on my new laptop for school (love this thing), with a cooling cup of tea and the remains of my midnight snack next to me. I don’t know about sleep…I might just pump myself full of coffee and try and make it through to tonight. I have nothing to do besides fireworks with Carter and maybe boating with Conway, although I’m sure I can learn to roll some other time, and if I really need a nap, I can get that between now and fireworks. I’ve got enough website maintenance to keep me busy all day, and I don’t really have anything social to do. My friends split off in three different directions – the boys are at Drew’s, the boaters are boating, and the rest went to Jordan’s lake house – and I’m here for the weekend, which is really fine.
And next week is going to be fun; I’m hanging out, swimming, and doing…stuff. Nationals is also next weekend, and I’m belaying for that Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I get to see the best climbers in the world…it’s gonna be either really fun or really boring.
And Saturday is Prom. Yeah, I know I already had one of those this year, but this is a Passages Prom, and it’s gonna be awesome. Three rules: dress up, bring a date, spend the night. I can’t wait. I’m sure there’s going to be some drama, because that’s what we’re all about. I’m going with Trip, Jon with Katie, Stratton with Kati, and I don’t know how the other pairings are going to work. It’s also going to double as a welcome-home party for Jeff, Rob, and Ned, who I’m really, really excited to see again. And Christine comes home today, I think. Everyone’s getting back, and it’s just great.
So it’s now almost six am, the sun’s about up, and I see no reason to go back to bed. I think I might just go ahead and upload this now, instead of saving it like I’d originally planned to. The funny thing is that I’ve been typing for just about the last hour and a half straight, and all I did was talk about three weeks. Funny how that works. Anyway, I honestly have no idea if any of this makes sense or not, but I tend to think I’m way funnier than I actually am when I’ve not gotten a lot of sleep, like now. But today’s going to be interesting…I might clean out my closet, I might read some more, I might work on my site. Whatever; I feel really good, really alive; I’m going to go take a walk in the just-barely-dawn light, and see what happens from there on out.