02.15.03

Contents of my trunk, 12 February 2003:

-          blue ballpoint pen
-          black ballpoint pen
-          swimming warmup jackets: numbers 29 and 24 (I’m number 24.)
-          Flute
-          Orange sweatshirt
-          Grey dragon sweatshirt
-          Silver Gap shirt
-          Suit jacket
-          Tan shirt
-          Rope in rope bag
-          Grey shirt (2)
-          Rack of 10 quickdraws on rope ‘sling’
-          2 wiregate biners
-          Bible, covered in silver duct tape.  Pretty.
-          Language & Composition folder
-          An ‘Ultimately Satisfying’ bathroom reader book (it was a gift.)
-          SR-71 CD case.  (The CD has been in the house for three weeks.)
-          Collegiate 2002-2003 directory
-          “I live in my own little world.  But it’s ok; they know me there” t-shirt
-          green Prana shirt
-          Boots
-          Character shoes
-          Dress shoes
-          Ski jacket with detachable (and detached) fleece lining
-          Chorus dress
-          Bathing suit wrapped in towel – both still damp (probably from two weeks ago.  Ew.)
-          1 pair pantyhose
-          Black shirt
-          Frosh play script/notes
-          Various species of underwear
-          Discman with headphones (2 of each)
-          Cow finger puppet
-          Fork
-          Dress pants
-          ‘Mattress’ t-shirt
-          1999 champs t-shirt
-          24 socks
-          4 footie-thingies
-          2 necklaces, neither mine
-          4 plastic bags
-          a gift bag from before Christmas
-          lots of petty change
-          candy. 
-          ITFS shirt
-          ‘Good News’ t-shirt
-          Stanford sweatshirt
-          X-files video from English class
-          ‘Mattress’ video
-          Mort (Terry Pratchett)
-          Spiral notebook
-          6 CD cases
-          negatives from a roll of photos
-          chorus folder (which I’ve been looking for since December)
-          District name tag
-          Time and Newsweek from the Columbia week.

I just found that list amusing.  I also found some stuff in the front seats, but that was just from the trunk.  It got to the point where a) I could dress myself out of my trunk – for any occasion! – on a moment’s notice and b) I couldn’t fit both my swimming bag and school bag in there at the same time.  Also notice that I did not find my sneakers or my ‘Life is Good’ hat.  Both of these are depressing.  I need a hat; my head is cold.

Last week was long, despite it’s four-day-ness.  I went to every practice except Tuesday, ‘cuz the VCU pool sucks people’s souls and burns their skin off.  Fortunately, it’s nearly taper week, ‘cuz we had LIS today.  So yesterday, and the Y, practice was quite short – only a 2100 or so – and I actually felt good.  (Maybe it was all the sugar.)  Anyway, I got in, chugged along, and just before a 4 x 75 kick set, my lungs started burning and I paused to cough.  Noah was hacking too, but Mike didn’t really pay any attention to us because we always do that.  So I did most of the kick set, and by the time we finished that, everyone was coughing.  So we cracked the door nearest to our end of the pool – leading to the 40 degree outside, I might add – and stuck our heads out to get fresh air.  Didn’t help much. We were doing fifties on 2:00 just because we needed that much time to recover.  It sucked.

So eventually Mike talked to the pool guy, who told him something to the effect of “The pH in the pool is off, so there’s too much chlorine, so the extra is seeping off as gas, and the previous kick set didn't help.  Or something."  Anyway, the point is that we were coughing, so they opened all of the doors to the outside, which let in cold air, which sucked ‘cuz we were cold and naked and the Y is cold anyway.  It was just an unfortunate practice, and I rolled fifteen minutes early for lack of any drive to do anything else.  Yup.

Last weekend was District.  It sucked, because Friday was supposed to be our first day of rehearsal, and it snowed.  So we had to cram twelve + hours of scheduled rehearsal into one day…it was tiring, and we weren’t nearly as good as we could have been…basically, our director talked to us and tried to bond with us when we just needed to learn the music.  It wasn’t a day to have fun; it’s a performance-based festival, and we should have been more focused on the music.

But whatever.  All-State auditions were that day, and I felt like I did ok…and yet, when they announced the names, I was only first alternate for Altos.  Now don’t get me wrong; it rocks.  But I made it last year, and I was really looking forward to it this year.  But what was also shocking and/or disappointing was that I was the only one from Collegiate to even be an alternate.  Still, I got over it, and figured meh, it’s a free weekend in April.

That night I went to Trinity ‘cuz Jordan was there, and so were three of his hot friends.  I wish I could have hot friends.  I stayed there for a bit, then went to Becca’s for a short while.  I entered her room with a piece of pizza and they all started laughing…apparently if anyone were to let themselves into her house, snag some pizza, and find them upstairs, it’d be me.  I stayed there for about ten minutes, then went back to Trinity to hang out a bit more.  Then I went to the midnight movie, which was Mallrats and a bad idea.  I didn’t feel well, but I didn’t want to abandon Carter.  We shoulda just rented it and fallen asleep to it at my house, but whatever.

Sunday I went to practice and planned a night out, ‘cuz we didn’t have school Monday.  It ended up being myself, Spoon, Reid, Kim, Elissa, and…oh, that was it.  We ate dinner at Palani drive, when the three carnivores mocked the two veggies judiciously, then hit Blockbuster to find a movie…we got Boondock Saints, which is incredible and needs to be watched.  Yup.

Monday was a non-event, until I decided to go get some work done at Barnes & Noble.  I did, and then decided to get a hamster.  Seriously.  Becca got one, Suz got one, and I figured hey, why not join the crowd?  I got a baby, who’s adorable and tiny and I think I’m allergic.  I took her to Lauren’s house to show Suz, and Alan and Harrison were also there…Harrison asked if he could throw her against a wall.  He’s funny.  Then Lora and Danny showed up, which was cool, ‘cuz I’ve not seen Danny since Christmas.  And then I went to Anthony’s, which was also great, because I’ve not seen him in a while and he gives great hugs.

I came home and managed to sneak the hamster into my room without any questions from my parents, got her set up, and then asked if I could have a hamster.  Mom said ‘no!’ and I said ‘well, then I’ll have to take her back.’  They looked at me funny.

Anyway, she’s since grown on them, she’s been here almost a week, isn’t dead yet, and has crapped on everyone that lays hands on her (except Elissa.)  After much debate, I named her Dammit…other rejected names include Shithouse, Fuzzy Harbinger of Cuddly Doom, and Poopie.  Reid called her a little ball of hate.  I found that amusing.

So yeah, I have a new friend, who is nocturnal and makes me sneeze.  Sweet.  Oh, and I also found out on Monday that I’m going to State.

Seriously.  I was sitting in Lauren’s living room, and my cell phone buzzed.  Ms. P was on the other end, and asked me if I wanted to take a trip to Charlottesville in April.  I flipped out, especially since I’d been bitching the night before that alternates never go.  I’m still really thrilled about the whole thing, and hopefully Brice’ll go too, so I’ll have someone to hang out with. 

The only problem is that the concert is the same weekend as the Spring Play.  This means that, even though I didn’t get cast and was pissed about that, I can’t even tech it.  I think I’m doing sound design or something, since I’m certainly going to work on it.  It just sucks that I can’t be there for closing night of the last show of high school.  But I guess I’ll get over it…it means I won’t have to actively work with people that piss me off.

The rest of this week went ok…lots of work, most of which I didn’t do.  Mrs. Griffin was back in class after a week hiatus, and we missed her like you’d not believe.  The sub was dry, somewhat dull, but he had a spark of humor.  Which he negated by pronouncing ‘cotyledon’ wrong.  This wouldn’t’ve been a problem if we hadn’t been on a chapter that dealt almost exclusively with ‘cottle-dons.’  I was about to scream.  I’m hyper picky about grammar and stuff anyway and I hate when people mis-pronounce words.  But.  Mamma G’s back, so all is right with the world.

Lesse...despite all my attempts to the contrary, yesterday was Valentine’s Day, which was actually not that bad.  The Senior class officers decided that the Seniors should make Valentine’s day bags for our lockers, like we did in Lower School.  It was an incredible idea, and it was so nice to have candy and cards in my bag all day.  Just very cool.  I was on an unnatural sugar high all day, which was also very nice.  What wasn’t so nice were all the couples.  Especially the ones in SAC.

I waged war on behalf of the Journalism room on Tuesday, posting a sign which basically said ‘look, it’s a classroom, take your loudness somewhere else…like perhaps across the hall to the enormous room designed for that sort of thing.’  It’s gotten quieter in there, and I think I made my point.  Maybe I pissed some people off, but to be quite honest, I don’t care.  I just…don’t.  I don’t need people that are going to fuck with me and with people I love.  I don’t need people to whom our friendship means so little that they’ll call me a bitch to others but smile to my face.  I don’t fucking need that. 

That said, I gave the whole love-thing some thought, which was further spurred by a singles party I had last night.  I don’t want a boyfriend who I’m going to get attached to and miss when I leave.  I don’t want to get with an underclassman, either, because you have to deal with the whole separation thing when you go to college and what happens to the relationship?  I don’t want to feel like I’m leaving somebody behind.  Nor do I want something serious and deep and emotional.  I’m leaving in six months.  I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m going to cut all the ties I possibly can and only keep the friends that I love and that I know love me.  I’m starting to do that now.  I can’t wait till I can do it for final. 

Anyway, I basically want a guy I can curl up with to watch a movie.  I want a companion, someone to talk to and laugh with and flirt with and kiss and hug and hold hands with.  I want someone who I know enjoys my company, and whose company I enjoy.  Someone who might be willing to make me feel like a girl every once in a while.  Someone with whom I can joke about castration, severe beatings, or dead babies (in any order.)  I don’t’ want someone to fall in love with.  I think I covered it pretty well last entry: I’m neither ready nor willing to fall in love, and I think anyone who is at my age is either full or shit or fucked up beyond common sense.  (Or just selfish, but we’re not going to go there because then I’ll get angry again.) 

Last night I was able to lean into someone and laugh with him, and enjoy the feeling of having someone who was, for whatever duration of time, in some way enjoying that I was there.  Not that he was doing anything but existing, laughing, and warming my back.  But the fact that he didn’t move away – stayed when I got up, came back when he did – was enough that I felt like, perhaps, I’m not always in the way.  I don’t know what’s next (probably nothing, and I guess I’m cool with that), but for a few hours at least, I felt comfortable. 

We watched Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels (‘we’ being me, Kim, Carter, Reid, Spoon, and Elissa for a bit); played with Dammit, and then Spoon suggested we watch The Matrix since it was in the DVD player and I’d never seen it.  (Sacrilege, I know.)  Both movies were incredible, but I need to watch the end of Lock, Stock again ‘cuz my idiot friends talked through it.  Oh, and since Spoon has no perception of time, he ended up staying ‘till almost 11 when roll time was supposed to be 10.  We finished the movie, but everyone else but Spoon left before that because, well, Reid and I had to be at school at FIVE FIFTY this morning to leave for Randolph-Macon and League Champs.

And that was an adventure.  I napped the way there, got in for warm-ups, napped ‘till the meet started, and then was pretty much awake for the rest of it.  It was only four hours long, which, for a League meet in a six-lane pool, isn’t that bad.  Our medley relay sucked – we got fourth and should’ve won – but we picked it up in the second half.  I went a PR for the season in the fifty – my only individual – at 27:47.  Got sixth.  Our 200 free relay won, ‘cuz we’re awesome like that, and I think I split at a low 27.  I just need to work on my breathing and I’ll break 27.  I’m sure of it. 

The final scores were incredible; at the beginning, we weren’t sure we’d win.  This is crazy, because we’ve been League champs every year since the team’s inception.  The final scores proved that we’re just amazing:

     COOL                       558.5
     NA                            395
     Saint Catherine's      371.5
     GERT                       271
     TES                          211
     Saint Margaret           83

(We’re COOL, by the way.)  Boys got fifth, which isn’t that bad, considering Andrew was sick and we’ve got a tiny boys’ team this year.  And girls got a trophy, go girls.

States is in two weeks.  Next weekend I’m either going skiing or to a play at Christopher Newport…not sure which, or even if my parents will let me do either.  Ah well, it’ll work out.

It’s been icing all day (not that I noticed, since I slept from when I got home at two ‘till almost 8), and we’ll probably not have school on Monday.  I plan to wreak havoc among neighborhood children tomorrow.  Whee. 

That’s about all for this update.  It’s been fun to write…I got some mundane stuff as well as some philosophical stuff.  If you’ve read this far, you’re quite cool.  Now go check out the rest of the new design (which is slowly taking over the old one…) and lemme know what you think.

Quote of the day:
Me: “I think I scared Spoon.”
Elissa: “Well, you told
him you were gonna castrate him with a spoon.  That’s pretty scary.”

<  home  next>>